Sharing that you are a member of the LGBTQIA2S+ community is a personal journey filled with challenges and uncertainties. This process is unique for each individual, so there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Embracing your true, authentic self can bring a sense of relief and freedom. It is also completely normal to wonder how revealing this part of yourself might change your life and your relationships.
What’s “coming out”?
Coming out is the personal process of sharing your sexual orientation, gender identity, or both with others. For some, it means telling friends and family that they’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or another identity under the LGBTQIA2S+ umbrella. For others, it might look like simply living openly without feeling the need to explain.
Not everyone comes out in the same way, and that’s okay.
Some people come out in big moments or conversations. Others do it gradually, over time. Some might choose to tell only a few trusted people, while others feel ready to be open in every part of their lives. For some, coming out may not feel safe or necessary at all. That doesn’t make their identity any less valid.
There’s no one “right” way to come out.
It’s a deeply personal journey shaped by your comfort level, environment, relationships, and sense of safety. Whether you’ve come out to one person or none, whether you’re still figuring things out or you’ve known who you are for years — your experience is real, and it matters.
What does it mean to “come out”?
Coming out refers to the process that people who are LGBTQIA2S+ go through as they work to accept their sexual orientation or gender identity and share that identity openly with other people.
Coming out is a courageous thing to do, and it’s incredibly personal and different for everyone. Your emotions when coming out may range from scared and anxious to elated and relieved.
There’s no one right way to come out. It can feel better to be open and honest about your sexual orientation than to hide it, but there are many factors to consider before coming out.
Coming out is a process.
Often, the first step is coming out to yourself. This happens as you recognize your sexual orientation and begin to accept it. Next, you might choose to tell your family, friends, and people in your community — sometimes right away and sometimes later. You might decide to be open with some people in your life but not with others.
Coming out isn’t a one-time thing.
Because many people assume that everyone they meet is straight, coming out is a constant process. Every time an LGBTQIA2S+-identified person meets someone new (friends, co-workers, nurses and doctors, etc.), they have to decide if, when, and how to come out.
Choosing to come out depends on the situation.
The coming-out process can be freeing and can bring you closer to the people you love. But it can also be stressful or even risky or dangerous. You may feel safer not coming out in certain situations. You don’t have to be out everywhere all the time. You can decide what’s best for you.
Coming out can have benefits and risks.
If you’re wondering whether to come out, there’s a lot to consider. Does coming out mean that you risk losing emotional or financial support from your family? Could coming out put you in physical danger? Will your family try to pressure you into being someone you’re not? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to wait until you’re in a different situation or have more support.
You, and only you, are in charge of your coming out experience. It’s up to you to choose how, where, when, and with whom to be open about your sexual orientation (and gender identity). It may feel safer to start by being open with other people who also identify as LGBTQIA2S+. This could be online, in community centers, at an LGBTQIA2S++ club or group, or with a few close friends.
“Coming Out” vs. “Inviting In”
The term “Coming Out” refers to individuals who openly identify as LGBTQIA2S+, and it appears frequently in our materials. However, it’s crucial to recognize that this phrasing focuses more on those to whom we come out than on ourselves. It can suggest that non-cisgender or non-heterosexual individuals are concealing their identities from society rather than highlighting how homophobia and transphobia foster a hostile environment. By publicly identifying as LGBTQIA2S+, you are sharing a personal aspect of your life that deserves protection and celebration. You’re not seeking permission to be yourself; you dictate your own narrative and decide who and what enters your life.
Remember, you are not alone. Regardless of where you are on your journey, we wish for you a full, vibrant, and authentic life- one free from bias, discrimination, and hate. We strive tirelessly every day to turn that vision into a reality for you and everyone else. Together, we can create a world where all LGBTQIA2S+ individuals can thrive, feel safe, be liberated, and experience joy in every aspect of their lives without exception. Let’s work toward this together.
National Coming Out Day
National Coming Out Day, celebrated on October 11th each year, is a day dedicated to the empowerment and recognition of LGBTQIA2S+ individuals and their supporters. It encourages everyone to embrace their authentic selves and to live openly without fear of discrimination. This occasion also serves as a vital platform for LGBTQIA2S+ individuals to share their stories and experiences, promoting understanding and breaking down barriers within the wider community.
When is National Coming Out Day 2025?
On October 11, 2025, a significant Wednesday, individuals, organizations, and communities are encouraged to participate in activities that promote acceptance and joyfully celebrate diversity.
The History of National Coming Out Day
The first National Coming Out Day, organized by Jean O’Leary and Dr. Robert Eichberg with the National Coming Out Day organization, was observed on October 11, 1988, the first anniversary of the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. In 1993, the National Coming Out Day organization merged with The Human Rights Campaign Fund to become the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). The National Coming Out Project in 1996, which is part of HRC’s ongoing work that goes beyond the activities on October 11, provides resource guides and information to people who are coming out or those interested in understanding the journey. During the first few years of the project, Artist Keith Haring contributed his famous 1988 image of a person stepping out of the closet to the project.
Why National Coming Out Day is important
According to the American Psychiatric Association, approximately 9 million US adults identify as lesbian or gay, bisexual, or transgender, and nearly 25.6 million Americans (11%) acknowledge same-sex attraction. The numbers reveal a diverse range of identities across the general population.
The act of “coming out” is more than self-disclosure of one’s sexual orientation and gender identity for those who identify as LGBTQIA2S+. It’s often a bold and first social step in becoming whole. National Coming Out Day celebrates and spreads awareness for a person’s ability to stand up and be themselves without fear of judgment or scrutiny.
Coming Out Tips
Coming out is an incredibly personal decision. There is no right or wrong way to do it, but taking stock of who in your life supports you can make a big difference.
Here are some tips to help you navigate your own journey with confidence:
Choose Your Time and Space
Timing is everything. Choose a moment when you and your loved ones can engage in an uninterrupted, open-hearted conversation. Selecting a safe and comfortable space helps foster an environment of trust and understanding.
Take it at Your Pace
Coming out doesn’t have to be a grand announcement if you don’t want it to be. Consider starting with someone you trust, maybe a close friend or family member. Sharing gradually provides a softer approach to entering the conversation, giving you the space to assess reactions and gather support.
Expect a Range of Reactions
People react differently. Some may quickly embrace your news, while others might need time to process it. Be patient and understanding, allowing them the space to navigate their feelings and eventually arrive at a place of acceptance.
Provide Resources
Your family and friends might have questions or want more information to understand your announcement better. Providing articles, books, and documentaries or guiding them to LGBTQIA2S+ support networks can play a key role in fostering understanding and acceptance.
Surround Yourself with Support
Ensure you have a support system in place. Friends, online communities, or LGBTQIA2S+ support groups can offer invaluable guidance and understanding throughout the process. Having people who can relate to your journey can make a big difference.
Safety Considerations for Coming Out
Sometimes, coming out doesn’t go according to our hopes and plans. If people don’t react the way we wish, it does not reflect on the realness of our identities, and it is not our fault. You deserve to be accepted with open arms, care, and love. In situations where things are feeling unsafe or you expect them to be, it makes sense to prepare a back-up plan for housing, food, school, and/or transportation. Your safety and well-being are of the utmost priority. The Trevor Project is always here for you and has your back.
Celebrate Your Journey – Spectrum Medical in Phoenix Is Here to Support You
Coming out is a significant milestone—a courageous step towards living authentically. It’s important to celebrate and acknowledge the courage it takes to share your truth. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Your experience is valid, and you deserve love and acceptance. Take each step at your own pace, and know that Spectrum Medical is here to support you.As you navigate the coming out process, there’s no need to rush. Whether you ease into it or take a more direct approach, what matters most is how you feel. If you need support or advice, Spectrum Medical is ready to help. Reach out to schedule your next healthcare check-up, and let us be a part of your journey toward self-discovery and well-being.